I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
