This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
