just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
