Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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