i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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