On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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