Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
