its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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