did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
