i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
