the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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