This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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