She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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