You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
