you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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