I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
