what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
