you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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