That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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