hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
