I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
