Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
