So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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