You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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