He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
