After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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