Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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