Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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