kristin has been a bad kristin
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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