i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize