Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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