So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
