so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
