Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
