I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
