i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
