you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
