At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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