I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
