So drunk its hurt
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
