I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
