She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
