Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
