i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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