stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
