The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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