If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
