Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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