i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
