Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
