i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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