Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
