Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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