A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
