their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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