so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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