I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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