Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
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Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
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Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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