I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
