if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
