you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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