Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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