Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize