She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
